Sometimes when Im feeling low, when Im lacking self esteem or assertiveness, I have to ask myself; What is holding me back right now?
I often find it is simply my mood which stops me from feeling incredible/ amazing or simply letting me be the unique being I am and of course we each are! Ultimately it comes from a lacking and I think it actually stems from this feeling of needing to be accepted. So then I ask myself again;
Do I really need to be accepted right now?
If my answer at this particular moment on this particular day is yes, then I obviously have to ask myself again, WHY?
Why do I need to be accepted? Which part in me, needs this feeling of being accepted?
Or more to the point, why do I not accept myself for who I am?
Of course I have to remember that this is only a feeling and that this feeling is emotional, I am a woman after all (even though in my head I’m most definitely a girl), but this is my point exactly. From my emotions, my mind's jibberjabber starts. This as an example is then making me feel like; I’m alone, or like I’m not amazing, or generally making me lack assertiveness.
It all always starts within.
All our answers to all our many questions start here....
Who am I?
After recently viewing the fantastical musical ‘wonder.land’ with Damon Albarn on sound, I was really inspired to re-visit the magical story of Alice in Wonderland and go over some of my most favourite and inspiring quotes of all times. It is so full of magical questions and it gives us these great pointers in trying to find out that famous ancient old question human beings have asked themselves for centuries; who am I?
Quite frankly I have no idea. I thought I knew myself, I grew up fast, not because I wanted to, but because I had to, and I certainly thought I knew myself. BUT recent findings definitely suggest I did not, at least not in the way I thought I did. And the more I delve into trying to find out the more I realise I really had no idea! And the more I keep doing this work; the yoga, the meditation, the self enquiry, the more I want to learn, who I truly am.
I take my hat of to Lewis Carol for bringing those famous question to us, in so many colourful magical ways. Life after all is serious enough and we do all need to be able to laugh at ourselves and to be able to laugh with others. We are empathetic creatures, we like to hang out, we need closeness, we need community, it helps our hearts, it gives us nourishment, the kind invisible to the eye, but the kind that will keep us alive for longer.
I recently read an article about this community in America which are healthier and happier, because of their close-nit society. Apparently they look after each other, they care for each other, they share the heavy load with each other. They also suffer less from heart disease and obesity, two of the most common dis-eases found in modern western society today.
It starts here. We need to learn to be kind to each other and look out for one another. I know that I have an amazing community here in Engelberg and before in Harlesden, London and I feel truly blessed to live/ have lived within these loving communities.
So let the love shine beyond; spread those good vibes and do something for someone out of the kindness of your heart, not because it will get you something, but to help someone out, it doesn’t have to be a big thing either, often a simple smile will do the trick.
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